It’s no secret that marriage is hard. It’s probably the most difficult thing in the world to be good at, but the truth is there are a precious few who manage to make their marriages work.
The first thing to remember, and to ALWAYS keep in mind, is that nothing is fixed. The person that you fell in love with is bound to change, over and over, time and time again. One minute everything is going well, and the next you are facing problems you never considered you would in life. These changes force us to grow and develop, not always in the best ways. You have to be adaptable to change so that you can make sure these changes don’t affect your relationship. Adaptability is key here, and every couple should continuously strive to get to know your partner.
Cliché as it may sound, communication is the key in every relationship. Talk about how you’re feeling, what annoys you, and how you can work together to make things easier on each other. Do not yell to get your point across. Try to talk nicely or at least patiently when talking to your loved one. We become embarrassed when people speak down on us, and this is no way to inspire a positive response.
Respect each other. Each and every one of us is unique, and you should aim to accept the person your partner is and respect them for it. Speak well to other people and they speak well to you. The same is said of respect.
One activity that has been proven to improve a long-term relationship is to date each other. Take turns once a month to organise a date night. Chat to the in-laws for baby sitting and go somewhere new and different each month. Shave your legs. Put on a cocktail dress. Go dancing. It reignites the spark and fun in the relationship.
Sometimes it hurts to hear it, but spending time away from each other is also an important thing to do. Let the hubby have boys’ nights, go off and have yourself a girl’s night once in a while. Do things separately as well as together. This stimulates individuality as well as independence, while giving you time to miss you loved one.
Do not work together! Mixing marriage and business, especially in a supervisor/supervised role, is a bad idea. It can foster resentment, and steps on a person’s need to operate individually. Your spouse needs to have a life of his own to nurture in order to help you best nurture the life you share together.
Sometimes it helps to treat your marriage like “a business with a heart”. It is a mutually agreed to contract between two people to share your lives together, as well as everything in them. This means sharing the best and worst parts of yourself with your partner. Be open to compromise, talk about how you are feeling, learn to laugh with each other. Have fun with your lover – they’re yours to play with forever. Also important to remember is having a tolerance for conflict, because this is unavoidable when you are sharing a living space with someone. Be flexible in your ways, and be prepared to fight for the ways you have that you wish to hold on to. Help your lover understand what makes you tick, and what you need from them. Agree to work together.
It also helps to make rules and set boundaries. The woman who insists on separate bathrooms is the smart one – there’s nothing like bowel movements to kill the romance in a relationship.
Cliché as it may sound, communication is the key in every relationship. Talk about how you’re feeling.
Most importantly, remember why you fell in love with your partner. Was it because of their perfections that you fell for them, or the flaws you knew you couldn’t live without? After all, you come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
Sources: Healthy Marriage Agency and Made Man
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